question-mark.jpgI guess we all have questions at times.  Times that you don't get what is going on.  I am learning that I am a bit of a control freak in that I really don't like to go into situations in which I can't control the outcome.  I like to know what is going to happen as much as possible. I can be flexible as to the route I take, but I want to choose the destination.  So when I get is a situation that is way bigger than me, one that I can't control the outcome, then I get pretty stressed out.  I want to take charge, fix things.  

It is at times like these that I get the questions.  What should I do?  What am I supposed to do?  What does God want from me?  Does He want me to sit back and wait for things to unfold? Or has He put obstacles in my path to teach me things and encourage me to grow by acting?  It seems more natural to act, but that feeds into my desire to be in control.  Actually, I know deep down that God wants me to take a break and let Him work.  I have been messing things up for a long time now, so it is time for Him to fix things.  This is so hard, and seems so unnatural.  But I know it is right.  I have to sit back, not try to control things and rely on my faith in God. 

I feel so petty when I think of all of the people in the Bible who have been through so much worse.  Abraham expected and waited for years for a son, even though he was 100 years old before it finally happened. Joseph sat in jail for years, believing that he was given a gift from God and would save His people.  Job…well…let's just be glad I'm not in his shoes. 

I am on a journey, but as much as I may dislike it, I am not driving.  I am not even holding the map.  I am in the backseat, looking out the window and waiting for the next interesting site.  I don't have a choice, so I might as well quit griping about it.