I really don’t know what to say except that I am still here. I haven’t done any more live blogs and don’t really plan to – for several reasons. First, not every day is as exciting as the first one, second, lately when I have had a second that I could be blogging I have been lying in the recliner trying to catch a few blessed minutes of sleep. And third, I am starting to get self-conscious. People who are almost total strangers to me come up and joke with me about calling poison control. Lately, for some reason that is beyond me, there are a lot of people who are reading this. I have always written as if it were a journal for myself – a therapeutic outlet. Even the live blogs were a form of stress relief. Now I feel quite narcissistic and full of myself.

Will is doing really well. He is such a good baby. He is starting to sleep more at night and less during the day – which is good at night but now I have to plan ahead a little more. I can tell that I am getting more comfortable, and I make an effort to get out at least once a day – even if it is to go to the video store. The one day I stayed home all day was not good. I can tell that Hannah is becoming more independent – playing by herself and even going to take a nap with little supervision a few times. Of course, if she would go ahead and learn to use the potty she wouldn’t have to endure her dirty diapers while I finish feeding the baby. But then again, I can’t imagine the difficulty of trying to feed a newborn and help a toddler toilet train at the same time. Maybe I should count my blessings.

We only have a few more days of uncertainty and waiting until we can talk about our son or our three children without feeling like we need to clarify it or give a disclaimer. In the meantime we continue to be thankful for and amazed by the outpouring of love we have felt. While this situation has been difficult for us, it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that would warrant such attention. I am looking forward to the day that Will can start to comprehend what a special little boy he is, how many people have been a part of his story, and how many people loved him before they even saw him. God’s hand has certainly been heavily involved in his young life already, and we are excited that we will (probably, most likely, hopefully) be able to share in it with him.

One final thought before I crash for a couple of hours. I really hesitate to ask for your prayers again, but Ashley and I really need wisdom in our relationship with Will’s birth parents. They are not believers, but they are experiencing the sacrificial love that God must have felt when He sent Jesus. We want to communicate that to them, we want to tell them about the amazing things that God has done, is doing and will continue to do, and introduce them to Him. We just don’t know how or when or what. I know that God will give us the words, but it is so difficult to separate our human emotions and fear so we can trust Him more.

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