I have done this before, and it seemed like a hit. I stole the idea of a live blog from guys who constantly update sporting events to give moment by moment updates. While I certainly won’t have that kind of time on my hands, updating this post throughout the day my actually help me remain sane. So, enjoy.

8:00 a.m. – We’re about to begin. As soon as I hit the “Publish” button, we are going to make a potty chart, pull out the stickers, and put the big boy underwear on. Will. We will put the underwear on Will. Then the fun will begin. Will just said that he is pooping. Gotta’ go.

8:22 a.m. – Okay, charts are made, stickers are on, and Will is excited about his Nemo underwear. I am taking this opportunity to reinforce to Hannah about going by herself, flushing and washing her hands all at the same time. Maybe we can kill two birds with one stone. Or two birds will use that same stone to beat me senseless. Only time will tell. Meanwhile I am going to remove everything of value within peeing distance and cover the things I can’t move.

*Note to self: Next time purchase multiple drop cloths*

*Additional note to self: There had better never be a next time.*

9:08 a.m. – I set my timer for an hour, and both kids went to the potty. This is the point where a new parent would say “See, this isn’t so hard.” I, however, know that that is a false confidence. It isn’t until they go to high school that I will rest and consider it a finished task.  On another note, it occurred to me that doing a live blog is only entertaining to you if my day falls apart. I am fairly certain that is why you are even reading this. “My day stinks. Let’s see what kind of awful things are happening to Lee. Then I will feel better.” So, here’s hoping that you are thoroughly disappointed today. But if I were a betting man, I’d keep checking in.

9:51 a.m. – Our first accident, and it wasn’t terrible. Will came into the kitchen holding his underwear. I thought at first he had just…well…gone #2, and we went into the bathroom where he finished his business. It wasn’t until I stepped in something wet that I realized we had two accidents. Maybe learning in stages is not the worst thing in the world. I’m going to put on some shoes.

10:17 a.m. – Update: Will now knows how to change the nozzle on the carpet cleaner from “Off” to “Stream.”

10:48 a.m. – There was (at least) one flaw in my plan to potty train this week before we replace the carpets – we aren’t replacing all the carpets. So, wouldn’t you know it, Will’s next accident was in his room where the carpet will not be replaced. Go figure. What are the odds? If you said 100%, you were right.

11:16 a.m. – Took a routine trip to the potty and went. Even stood up!  Oh, and Will is doing good too. (Just kidding – I couldn’t resist the cheap laugh, and I knew you’d be thinking it anyway.) On another note, Hannah is really excited about the stickers. She is going to the potty every 30 minutes or so. She is getting in the habit of flushing, so it’s all good.

11:21 a.m. – While I was tying the above entry, I heard the telltale noises that indicated another trip to the bathroom. At this rate I’m going to have to do a load of laundry during his nap. I only bought 7 pairs of underwear because I wasn’t sure of the size. We are already on our fourth pair, and it isn’t even lunch yet. I did wise up and put a pull-up on over his underwear. We’ll see how long that lasts.

1:27 p.m. – Finally down for a short respite before heading to get Jaycie after putting four pairs of underwear in the wash. Will fell backwards out of his chair at the end of lunch, and although I think he was mostly okay he scared himself pretty bad. After I sat over him for ten minutes and said “I told you so,” I picked him up. Just kidding. Five minutes. But seriously, he cried for a bit, and then fell asleep. I had to change him out of his underwear and into a pull-up without waking him up. And they say we don’t have challenges.

3:24 p.m. – Just got back from picking Jaycie up from school. So far this is really boring for you. I haven’t accomplished much today, but I am really tired. Potty training is a full-time job and completely takes the place of laundry (except those things that are directly related to potty training), straightening and cleaning the kitchen. Of course, maintaining a blog is taking a little time, but this is considered part of the process, so it doesn’t count.

4:44 p.m. – Will hasn’t gone since we got home. I’m pretty sure he will be making puddles pretty soon, but he is very resistant to going to the potty. I think we’ll go outside.

5:21 p.m. – Just after we went outside, the advice a friend just gave me came to mind. I introduced Will to the idea of making water outside. I think he loved it. Either way, it is one fewer mess for me to clean up.

6:13 p.m. – Are you as tired of this as I am? I figured. Anyway, I went in to play with Will while the rest of the fam is at Jaycie’s Cross Country practice. I checked and noticed that he was wet. I asked him, and he said “No I’m not.” He was. So my question is this: if this method is predicated on his discomfort when wet, but he is not uncomfortable when wet, then what are my chances of being successful? That low? Yeah, I was afraid of that.

8:44 p.m. – I’m done. Kids are in bed, and the only thing I’ve learned is that Will can withstand a certain amount of wetness without complaint. Oh, and the thing about the spray bottles. However, the day wasn’t too bad because my expectations were very low. I expected messes, and didn’t plan to do much of anything else. Check, and check. We’ll try again tomorrow, but no live blog. Sorry, but I don’t think you want that much detail of my life. If you are sitting there wondering “Is that really what Lee’s day is like?” the answer is a resounding yes.

Thanks for keeping me company today. It was not quite so lonely and torturous knowing (thinking…hoping) that you were there with me. Not here, where you could have actually helped, but there. At a safe distance. Laughing. *Sigh*